Women

The Sexy Cripple?

Sep 15th

Posted by Skaag in Fun

2 comments

I know this post may disturb some of you, but I have noticed some guys (who’s names I will not disclose here) find the sight of certain crippled people arousing. A friend of mine saw this blond girl on a wheel chair and I swear if I didn’t hold on to a nearby lamp post, his errection would send me flying to Zimbabwe…

Is it because supposedly that person in the wheelchair is helpless, and an easy prey? Is it this kind of inner ferocious instinct usually found in carnivorous mammals?

Or is it because he thinks she is desperate for Sex and will do anything? Or maybe he is imagining her stiff legs and the thought of her dead limbs is arousing in a very perverse way?

This reminded me of the story of Safran and his dead arm, from the book “Everything is Illuminated” by Jonathan Safran Foer. In that story, Safran, supposedly the author’s grandfather, has a dead arm from birth. This somehow gets him into the arms (and underwear) of most of his village’s women… to the point where it has become a sort of a “secret weapon” for him, which he used to “fish” for his gipsy, non-jewish girlfriend. I seriously recommend that book by the way, it’s awesome in so many ways. And definitely read the book BEFORE you see the movie.

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How to properly measure your member

Jun 18th

Posted by Skaag in Fun

1 comment

Nonsense warning: I’m in a good mood, so I decided to write a completely silly entry in my blog. I did not try the method mentioned below, so try at your own risk!

There have been lots of debates on penis size. Some say size matters, some say it’s how you use it, etc. The “size” however is not always very well defined. Are they talking about Length, or Girth? Lots of articles (mostly written by Women) talk about how the length doesn’t matter, and it’s really all about the girth, and yet some other women will tell you the length AND the girth matter.

I say, the only right way to measure your Penis is not by length or girth – It is about absolute atomic mass!

That’s right boys and girls. And how do you measure this? Fear not, for I’ve devised a sure method for you Math challenged people, that will also make you look like a “Real Man” while measuring your mass (because Beer is involved). You will need a large empty pot, a glass of beer filled to the top, and a cooking scale to weigh the fluid.

The Beer Displacement Method (Thank you Leah for the name!):

  • Step 1: Zero the scale by placing the empty pot on the scale, and turning the scale on. The display should show “0 grams”.
  • Step 1: Take a pint of Guinness beer, and place it inside the pot.
  • Step 2: Look at a photo of Scarlett Johansson to obtain an errection.
  • Step 3: Stick your member into the glass, the beer will spill from the glass and into the pot.
  • Step 4: Remove the glass from the pot, and weigh the liquid content.
  • Step 5: You are done! This is the mass of your penis!

So from now on, when you brag to your friends about how large you are, remember: what really matters is your mass! :-)

And another thing: If you are crazy enough to actually try this I will be happy to get comments below about your measurements! :-)